following this thread borderline-personality/topichtml, I'm What if you put in your dating-site profile "I'm BPD, I prefer to meet a BPD?. With these tools and strategies, it is possible to help your loved one with borderline personality disorder towards better management of their symptoms. A woman with borderline personality disorder writes about the cycle Let's just say I've attempted the whole dating thing more than a few If you or someone you know needs help, visit our suicide prevention resources page.
When I am alone, I become nobody and nothing. These thoughts may be completely at odds with your own perception of your partner, but it is imperative to understand that for them, they are very real, and can drive them toward extreme and seemingly irrational behavior.
Navigating through this emotional minefield can be difficult and painful for both of you, but knowing that their thoughts and behaviors are the product of intensely powerful perceptional distortions deeply rooted in their mental health disorder, rather than a reflection of your own shortcomings, can bring some comfort. For Thomas, educating himself about BPD helped him move from self-blame to empathy and compassion: There are a lot of nuances, complexities, and lines to be read through with BPD, but mostly I see Borderline Personality Disorder as an illness about pain, fear, and struggling to cope with all of that.
But the common conception is just [that they are] crazy, which is an extraordinarily damaging misconception to those who suffer from it. For relationships to have a chance of succeeding, this is a critical piece: Call for a Free Confidential Assessment.
When Your Loved One Has Borderline Personality Disorder
In part, this is spurred by the myth that BPD is untreatable, a false but prevalent belief that can too often remove hope. In reality, with the right treatment, many people with BPD can learn to manage their symptomsand a substantial number achieve remission to the point where they no longer meet the diagnostic criteria for the illness.
By integrating specialized BPD therapies like Dialectical Behavior Therapy with other evidence-based clinical and holistic therapies within the context of a comprehensive treatment plan, it is possible to disrupt the emotional and behavioral instability of BPD and establish inner tranquility. Along with individual and group therapies, couples therapy is often an integral part of healing from BPD, as individuals and as a team.
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With the guidance of an experienced therapist who understands the unique challenges presented by BPD, you can create strategies for supporting your partner and yourself while nurturing and fortifying your relationship. The less an individual feels like his or her mental illness is under the spotlight, the more opportunity they have to explore other aspects of themselves.
How can I communicate effectively during a crisis? When a loved one becomes reactive, they may become to insult you or make unfair accusations.
The natural response is to become defensive and to match the level of reactivity. They struggle to gauge what is a minor issue and what is a full blown catastrophe.
What You Need to Know When Dating Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder
They interpret your defensiveness as not being valued. Instead, when they become reactive, take the time to listen without pointing out the flaws in their argument. Try not to take it personally. If the person does point out something you could improve or have done wrong, acknowledge their point, apologize, and suggest a way you can improve on the matter in the future.
What if they threaten to hurt themselves? A crisis is escalating if a person with BPD begins to threaten to harm themselves. Sometimes self-harm signs may be less overt, such as scratching the skin, eating less, coloring or shaving off hair, or isolating from others.
Recognizing early signs can help prevent an emotional crisis from becoming more serious or requiring medical or psychiatric attention. Instead, you invite the individual to talk about their emotions and allow yourself to gauge whether professional assistance is necessary.
All threats of suicide should be taken seriously. Even if the behavior is attention-seeking, it can result in seriously harm or even death. This sends the message that they have an enormous amount of power over all arguments.
Instead, ask your family member what they would feel most comfortable doing when they threaten injury. They might want to speak with their therapist, call a hotline, or walk with you into an emergency room.
Allowing them some amount of agency in of deescalating a crisis can help calm out of control emotions. What other strategies can reduce conflict?
The Cycle of Dating I Go Through as Someone With BPD | The Mighty
Listening and reflecting can be the most effective strategy in communicating with someone with BPD. Though you might disagree with every word that is spoken, listening is not the same as agreeing.
This type of communication is not about winning an argument or being right. What can I do when I feel overwhelmed?
Carve out time to spend with friends and engage in leisure activities. You also should consider how to involve other family members in the care and support of someone with BPD. No single person should be responsible for communicating calmly and responding to crisis situations.
The more people who know effective strategies for responding to the individual, the less often crises will erupt. Will they ever completely recover?