Dating and the age gap: When is older too old? - Washington Times
I then gave different ages for their friend — 20, 30, 40, 50, 60 — and asked are 20, the creepiness rules caps their maximum dating age at A year-old woman will have better luck messaging a year-old man than a Cindy has been dating men in their 20s for the past 15 years. When dating, determining the maximum age gap is like trying to find out how tall a tree happens to be.
Um, I thought, petting my two-years-younger boyfriend.
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I almost forgot about the Princeton Mom until last month, when international headlines went nuts over the new French president elect and his wife. Brigitte Trogneux met Emmanuel Macron when he was 15 and she was his year-old drama teacher, already married with three kids. Not my ideal meet cute, but whatever — and it made me wonder: Men tend to message women significantly younger than they are. When women start conversations, they tend to message men closer to their own age.
It appears this age gap is largely driven by dudes. The older men get, the younger the women they message relative to their own age.
Women, on the other hand, message and respond most often to men about their own age.
Dating and the age gap: When is older too old?
Once they reach 35, women actually respond more often to younger guys. But because men are usually the conversation starters, the older-man-younger-woman paradigm prevails.
Men and women have no interest in dating as old as the creepiness rule allows.
So I decided to find the answers myself. I created a survey. Although I could have hit the streets of New York and surveyed people in-person Buunk style, I decided to mTurk my survey.
I try to avoid as much social interaction in my daily life as possible. This can vary from transcribing a movie, to identifying an item on a receipt, to taking a survey about hypothetical romantic relationships.
Within a few days I got responses: As John and Lauren got older, however, the creepiness rule differed from how people actually responded. Yet according to the survey, 37 was well outside the age range of what is socially acceptable. The results also showed that the creepiness rule is too restrictive about how old you can date when you are young, but becomes too lenient as you get older.
Yet, people surveyed were fine with John and Lauren seeing someone in their early 30's. When John and Lauren are 60, the creepiness rule allows them to date anyone older than themselves the official cap is In my opinion, there is a lot more than just 15 years that separates you from your year-old boyfriend.
He's had a heck of a lot more life experience than you have.
- MORE IN LIFE
- The real rules about old and young you can date
You are in your late twenties, a time in life when you are just beginning to become sure of who you are and what you want. You are creating your life while he is already in the prime of his. If you were 40 and he was 55, I would not be as concerned about the age difference as both of you would have had ample time to experience life and mold your identity.
By dating someone so much older, you are missing out on being with someone who is in the same phase of life that you are; someone with whom you can share the joys and pitfalls of discovery.
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Plus, this is a new relationship and you need to take into account that some of the sparks you feel come from the novelty of it. You mentioned that you are not trying to live out some father figure fantasy. Okay, but consider this: I speak from experience. In my twenties, I dated a man who was eleven years my senior and it was great until I realized I was living vicariously through him.
I wanted to be where he was in his life - accomplished, more confident, and all the other things that come with additional years on the planet. What I realized is that I was trying to skip over my own twenty-something experience by coat-tailing his life. Sure, we had the same kind of connection you speak about and I really did feel like we were kindred sprits in a lot of ways; however, the unavoidable truth was that we were at very different points of our lives.
Dating an older man can be an ego boost since being wanted by someone older makes you feel more mature. I share this with you because I encourage you to ask yourself if some of his appeal lies in the simple fact that he is older.